The truth is there are no right answers. There are only pros and cons to both sides. It’s 2025; we don’t hold ourselves to limiting traditions and expectations. We speak our truths, and our friends and family understand that decisions—both for and against—are in no way a personal attack; they are just choices about how the wedding (or an event, if you relate to that better) will take place. Just like at a BBQ or Super Bowl party, the choice may sway toward bringing kids for a family day or leaving them at home for some much-needed adult time. The key is to approach this topic with understanding and not take it personally, whether as a guest with kids who are not invited or as the bride and groom whose cousins or best friends won’t be able to make it because they do not feel comfortable leaving their children with anyone. As long as we can all agree that it’s nothing personal—just a vision.
As an Alberta wedding photographer and videographer, I have been able to attend many weddings that have had both kids and no kids and both options are great. As a professional in wedding photography and videography, and as a mother, who did not leave our kids with anyone, I would not be able to attend if my kids were not allowed to. Also, as a mother, who’s WORKED weddings with my kids present, it is not easy. It’s not easy entertaining them for the ceremony, keeping them quiet and calm while waiting for dinner to be served. But it IS amazing watching them run around with new friends, start the dance party to the chicken dance, and pass out on a couple of chairs in the back of the room after having too many cranberry shot-tails. But let’s break down a list of all the options to help you decide which direction you would like to go with your wedding photography.
Pros of Having Kids Attend Your Wedding:
- Family Inclusion: Kids are part of the family, and having them at the event can make it feel more inclusive for everyone.
- Memorable Moments: Children can create joyful and spontaneous moments that can add to the fun and uniqueness of the day. They can start the dance party, interrupt with a cute moment in speeches, toss the flowers down the aisle. These moments are cherished in wedding photography.
- Ease for Parents: Parents may appreciate not having to find childcare, allowing them to enjoy the celebration more freely. If there are other kids, they all play together making friends and bringing up the overall excitement and light-hearted energy that happy kids usually bring.
- Tradition: For many, having kids at weddings is a traditional expectation that can bring a sense of continuity.
Cons of Having Kids Attend Your Wedding:
- Distractions: Children can be unpredictable, which might divert attention from the couple’s special moments. Speeches interrupted or crying during the ceremony, can impact the wedding photography experience.
- Parents might have to leave: If parents are worried about bedtime routines, they may choose to leave early to accommodate these schedules.
- Logistics: Accommodating children often requires additional planning, such as kid-friendly meals and activities, which can complicate arrangements.
- Guest Comfort: Not all guests may feel comfortable around children, particularly if they prefer a more adult-centric atmosphere; mostly the dance portion.
Pros of NOT Having Kids Attend Your Wedding:
- Adult Atmosphere: The event can maintain a more sophisticated or relaxed vibe without the presence of children.
- Focused Celebration: The couple and guests can focus on the couple and their vows without distractions, ensuring the wedding photography captures the essence of the day.
- Simplified Planning: Planning can be more straightforward without the need to consider children’s needs.
- Freedom for Guests: Guests without children may feel more free to enjoy the event without the responsibilities of childcare.
Cons of NOT Having Kids Attend Your Wedding:
- Exclusion: Parents may feel left out, and some family dynamics could be strained due to exclusion.
- Childcare Challenges: Parents might struggle to find suitable childcare, which could affect their ability to attend.
- Missed Family Moments: Special family moments might be missed if kids aren’t present to share in the joy, which can affect the overall wedding photography.
- Potential Resentment: Some guests may feel hurt or resentful about not being able to bring their children.
Polite Ways to Say “no children allowed”
1. “adults only affair”
2. “We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding”
3. “We hope you understand our decision to make the wedding adults-only, and we look forward to celebrating with you!”
4. “While we love your little ones, we kindly request a child-free wedding”.
5. “Although we love your children, we regretfully cannot accommodate them at the venue due to restricted numbers”
6. “We hope you will understand our decision to make the wedding child free, and we take the opportunity to let your hair down and celebrate!”
Conclusion
Ultimately, the decision should reflect the couple’s vision for their wedding and what feels right for them. Open communication with friends and family about the reasoning behind the choice can help mitigate feelings of exclusion and ensure everyone understands it’s not personal. By fostering understanding, the focus can remain on celebrating love and commitment, regardless of the guest list’s makeup. If you chose to have kids, I suggest welcoming them with open arms, spending the extra time in making sure there are activities for them, placing them around people with other kids so they can make friends. Kids can bring so much life to an event, they are always great to start the dance party and often make people feel at ease in social situations.
As always, I am a Central Alberta wedding photographer, I am always up for an adventure to Calgary, Edmonton, Banff, or Canmore. Anywhere really, if you are a care-free, fun couple that wants to enjoy your day, contact me anytime as your wedding photographer. Remember, great wedding photography captures the love and joy of your special day.
WWW.LEAHTYLERSZUCKIPHOTOGRAPHY.CA
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